April -- Savlanut / Patience

Do you remember when overnight mail made its debut? It amazed us that we could get a package from coast to coast in 24 hours. The fax machine picked up the pace even more. We could feed a piece of paper into a machine in our office, hear the beeps at the target destination and within a few minutes, our print out could transfer from our hand to a recipient miles away. Email brought a whole new dimension to the speed at which we communicate. A push of a button and our message zoomed from one computer to another.

Today, in the age of the internet, many of us bemoan the idea of traipsing down to the post office to mail an overnight package. Or, we cringe at the thought of waiting for the fax to connect, the paper to roll through the machine, and the printing to occur on the other side. Today, we even drum our fingers restlessly, wondering why everyone has not switched to handheld devices to respond to our “important” emails. We expect things now! Not tomorrow, not in a few minutes, but NOW!

Patience, “they” say, is a virtue. In Hebrew, the word for “patience” is “savlanut.”  Savlanut shares the same Hebrew root as the words for “sivlot / burdens” and “sabal / porter”. Patience, can therefore be understood as the ability to carry a burden. In our case, that burden can often be time, or the burden of waiting. When do we experience this? Waiting for a response from others, waiting in traffic, waiting in line at the grocery store.

So what to do? A practice that I took on last year was to use that waiting time to count my blessings in life. Rather than letting myself get irritated at what I might be missing, I use the opportunity to reflect on what I have.

The month of April  at TAE is devoted to the practice of Patience / Savlanut. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait!

L’Shalom,

Rabbi Ted Riter

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Patience /Savlanut         

The ability to wait and have self-control is necessary for success in pre-school and beyond. Practicing patience at an early age helps children to improve their relationships and social skills. Teaching patience to children at a young age reduces meltdowns in public and helps them cope with difficult situations all through their lives.

How can we as parents and teachers help teach our children patience?

 Model patience! Be aware of your words and behavior and even your body language when you have to wait for something. Children are very perceptive and detect subtle signs of impatience.

. Whenever your child asks for something it is not necessary or even beneficial to respond immediately to their request. It is important for children to learn to wait.

 Patience level is different for every child and their ability to wait should increase with age.

 Provide children with a specific response as to when they can expect their request attended to. For example, answers such as “When I am off the phone,” “When the timer goes off” or “Tomorrow” are clear and direct. Avoid responses such as “later” which can be unclear to children.

Help your child learn to avoid the frustration of waiting by providing suggestions for what they can do while they wait!

It is important to teach your children to have patience with all things but even more important is that they have patience with themselves!!

-Contributed by Michelle Princenthal-