April -- Savlanut / Patience

Do you remember when overnight mail made its debut? It amazed us that we could get a package from coast to coast in 24 hours. The fax machine picked up the pace even more. We could feed a piece of paper into a machine in our office, hear the beeps at the target destination and within a few minutes, our print out could transfer from our hand to a recipient miles away. Email brought a whole new dimension to the speed at which we communicate. A push of a button and our message zoomed from one computer to another.

Today, in the age of the internet, many of us bemoan the idea of traipsing down to the post office to mail an overnight package. Or, we cringe at the thought of waiting for the fax to connect, the paper to roll through the machine, and the printing to occur on the other side. Today, we even drum our fingers restlessly, wondering why everyone has not switched to handheld devices to respond to our “important” emails. We expect things now! Not tomorrow, not in a few minutes, but NOW!

Patience, “they” say, is a virtue. In Hebrew, the word for “patience” is “savlanut.”  Savlanut shares the same Hebrew root as the words for “sivlot / burdens” and “sabal / porter”. Patience, can therefore be understood as the ability to carry a burden. In our case, that burden can often be time, or the burden of waiting. When do we experience this? Waiting for a response from others, waiting in traffic, waiting in line at the grocery store.

So what to do? A practice that I took on last year was to use that waiting time to count my blessings in life. Rather than letting myself get irritated at what I might be missing, I use the opportunity to reflect on what I have.

The month of April  at TAE is devoted to the practice of Patience / Savlanut. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait!

L’Shalom,

Rabbi Ted Riter

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Patience /Savlanut         

The ability to wait and have self-control is necessary for success in pre-school and beyond. Practicing patience at an early age helps children to improve their relationships and social skills. Teaching patience to children at a young age reduces meltdowns in public and helps them cope with difficult situations all through their lives.

How can we as parents and teachers help teach our children patience?

 Model patience! Be aware of your words and behavior and even your body language when you have to wait for something. Children are very perceptive and detect subtle signs of impatience.

. Whenever your child asks for something it is not necessary or even beneficial to respond immediately to their request. It is important for children to learn to wait.

 Patience level is different for every child and their ability to wait should increase with age.

 Provide children with a specific response as to when they can expect their request attended to. For example, answers such as “When I am off the phone,” “When the timer goes off” or “Tomorrow” are clear and direct. Avoid responses such as “later” which can be unclear to children.

Help your child learn to avoid the frustration of waiting by providing suggestions for what they can do while they wait!

It is important to teach your children to have patience with all things but even more important is that they have patience with themselves!!

-Contributed by Michelle Princenthal-

March -- Kavod / Honor

How many of us love to “people watch?” Airports, malls, maybe even synagogues become viewing centers. We take on the role of expert observer and cast unsuspecting souls as our research subjects. And we judge, and we judge, and we judge. Wow! Who are we to do this? And yet, we make a sport of it.

Our sages teach us that each of us is a holy soul. It is not that we have holy souls, but that we are holy souls. Thus rather than judging, we have an obligation to recognize the holiness in others and treat them in honorable ways. But how do we do this? We may not know many of the people we run into on a day-to-day basis and others we may think we know too well. And yet, it is our sacred obligation to picture others in their holiness, even if they hide it well.

Does this mean we should honor the person who dresses in an outlandish outfit? Yes.

Does this mean we should honor the salesperson who ignores us at the store? Yes.

Does this mean we should honor the person guilty of a crime? Yes; even this person is understood to be a holy soul.

Honoring others is, for some, one of the most challenging Jewish values. And yet, it is at the core of who we are as Jews and it is essential to our own spiritual growth. Seeing the holiness in others is what makes it possible to engage in tikkun olam (social action / healing the world). Acknowledging the holiness in others is what allows us to celebrate life cycle events together. Honoring the holiness of others is what brings us together as a community.

The month of March at TAE is devoted to Honor / Kavod. May we all use this time to recognize the holiness of each other, ourselves, and all the world.

L’Shalom,

Rabbi Ted Riter

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Honor (Kavod)                         

According to Jewish teaching, honor is due to each and every human being, not because of what they have achieved, but because they are a human soul. As parents and teachers and therefore models of behavior to our children, we need to develop the habit of honoring others. The first step in that direction is to catch ourselves whenever we are being inwardly judgmental or critical of others. We then need to refocus our attention away from the judgment we are making and back to the essence of that person. Another form of honoring about which Jewish tradition teaches, involves the simple act of greeting people. Jewish tradition urges us to take the lead in greeting any person we encounter.  Be the first to greet, to say hello or even just smile at another person. This is such a simple practice but it is a powerful way we can model honoring others to our children. Encouraging the following behaviors will cultivate children who honor others.

Treat other people the way you want to be treated.
Be kind and polite to others.
Listen to what other people are saying when they speak.
Stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves.

  

Contributed by -Michelle Princenthal-