September -- Z'rizut / Enthusiasm

Since the advent of the DVR and the ability to pause live TV, I rarely watch a commercial. Sometimes, I am simply eager to get to the next scene in the show. At other times, I see my time as a precious commodity and would rather watch the show than the filler commercials. (I’m continually amazed that so many "30 minute" shows are actually no more than 22 minutes.) My remote control has an option for fast forwarding at varying speeds or jumping 30 seconds with the touch of a button. More often than not, I misjudge how quickly I need to fast forward or how many times I need to push the quick jump button and I miss the opening of the show’s scene. In my enthusiasm, I miss out on potentially important dialogue and then need to rewind. In the end, the time I save by pushing the fast forward button "one more time" may be lost in the time it takes to rewind. Luckily, rewinding is possible with my TV. In life, however, we do not get the chance to rewind. We can try things again. We can even get "do-overs". However, once time has been spent, it cannot be retrieved. Sometimes in our enthusiasm, we miss out on life.

Of course, the other side of the spectrum can be equally as destructive. If we cannot stir up our z’rizut/enthusiasm, we may want to spend our entire day in front of the TV, perhaps even watching the commercials.

The Mussar tradition teaches us that we are to both study and exercise our values. For z’rizut/enthusiasm, this might mean identifying where in life we need more or less of this trait. In our zeal, do we run over other people (either physically or metaphorically) or miss out on important experiences or relationships? In our lack of enthusiasm, do we fail to follow through on commitments and let ourselves and others down? If either scenario sounds familiar, the next step is to identify areas in our daily lives where we can work on the opposite of our ingrained patterns. For instance, I might commit to pausing for two minutes every hour to do a simple self check-in and to be present to the moment. On the other hand, I might make a simple list everyday of the projects, phone calls, errands or chores that I would like to complete. Often times in mussar practice, we will even add a mantra to our daily routine or write key words on a post-it note to "slow down" or "light a fire."

I hope that you will join me in working on z’rizut/enthusiasm this month. If you are inspired to delve deeper into this spiritual practice, please register for one of our Seasons of Mussar courses that are beginning Tuesday morning September 20th or Monday night October 24th. We would be enthused to welcome you to either group. For more information, please contact the Temple office or visit our website: www.adatelohim.org/education/adulteducation/souljourneys.

May we all have a month of balanced z’rizut,

Rabbi Ted Riter

May -- Tzniut / Modesty

I took my first trip to Israel during the summer before my senior year in high school. I remember diligently going through my packing list for this 6 week trip and making sure that I would not forget a thing – we were warned that the prices would be much higher in Israel. I especially remember that boys and girls had different requirements for clothing. In particular, the girls on this trip were supposed to bring “modest” clothing for trips to religious sites. And indeed, when we entered certain synagogues, mosques, churches and neighborhoods, there were signs not-so-gently warning of “appropriate” clothing.

Tzniut, the Hebrew term for modesty, is a source of contention these days in Israel. Some Orthodox religious authorities are demanding segregated bussing to ensure tzniut and attacks on “immodestly dressed” women are not uncommon. These extremes notwithstanding, there is still a value to the practice of tzniut.

Tzniut is traditionally understood to refer to both modesty of clothing and practice. In our modern world, a better description might be formed in a question: “Am I wearing clothing and accessories, purchasing items, or doing certain things to get people to look at me?”  Judaism does not call for us to hide what we have or who we are. However, our tradition does point out that if we are constantly craving attention, our energy is focused in the wrong direction.

The month of May at TAE is devoted to the practice of Modesty / Tzniut. Please join me this month in making a commitment to refocus our attention on the needs of others.

L’Shalom,

Rabbi Ted Riter

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One extremely important Jewish value and one that is most overlooked, is the concept   of tzniyut (modesty). What do we want to teach our children about modesty? How do we intend to model it for them? Many in the community tend to think of modesty as an Orthodox issue. But modesty is a Jewish issue.

Modesty isn’t just about dress. It also means making good choices about how we look
and act. When we dress in a way that is modest, modesty in speech and behavior tend to follow. To model modesty for our children, when we speak to others try to maintain humility and dignity.  Try also not to speak negatively about others.  Modesty in speech also relates to the positive things we tell people about ourselves. We should be careful to not spend an excessive amount of time bragging to others about ourselves, our families, and our worlds. Some things can and should remain private.

One of the better-known instances of the term “tzniyut” in the Bible occurs in the Book of Micah. In Chapter 6, the prophet Micah proclaims, “You have been told what is good, and what God requires of you; only to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly or modestly (hatzne’a) with your God.” This helps us to understand the important Jewish value of tzniyut. Just as we carry ourselves before God with reserve, with dignity, and without arrogance, we should also carry ourselves in our daily lives.

Our children live in a world where everything is in the open. It would be a gift to ourselves, our families, and our community to give this concept of tzniyut attention and model it in attitude, dress, speech and behavior for our children.

Contributed by Michelle Princenthal